Morbid Curiosity
by zeroseconds
Summary: Sometimes life is tragically too short for experimenting, and yet...!
1. Tea is not okay

**Warning 1:** This one's going to contain a HUGE spoiler from the novels.

**Warning 2: **This is incredibly silly and extreme (character-wise and tea-wise), it won't ever happen, but who cares?

**Morbid Curiosity**

_Tea is not okay._

"Mai, tea!"

"Okay!" She merrily went to the kitchenette and came back.

He took a sip of it, and cringed slightly. After all these years, she still could make these horrible cups of tea?

"Mai."

She froze at the doorway.

"Make it again."

Mai knew what he meant by that, but still didn't go back to pick up the cup.

"_Please,"_ he added against his will, as he had learned to say that damned word the hard way.

"Okay," the girl went back to her boss' desk and picked up the cup to refill it. Naru was relieved it proved to be perfect this time.

Several months ago the SPR was out to investigate a poltergeist incident at an abandoned office somewhere in the outskirts of Tokyo, and that was when Naru had been particularly mean to Mai about how _terrible_ she'd made her tea that entire day, exchanging one insult after another. The girl decided she had enough of his tea complaining antics and for some reason went downstairs, _meaning_ to catch up on some 'sleep' and pouring her heart out in front of some dead person. Later he realized he should never let her sleep again during a case, even though it meant he would not have the help of his somewhat useful and very deceased twin brother.

That next day in the office went like this:

"You're late Mai, tea!"

"Okay!" She sounded very cheerful when taking the previous day in mind.

Kitchenette. The tea was poured. Naru's office. One incredulous glare was exchanged with a cheerful glance. What wasn't usual was the fact she remained in the office until he would take his first sip. So he did.

First reaction. He almost slammed the cup on the desk.

Terrible. Terrible. Terrible!

"Mai," he quietly said, hiding his disgust.

"Yes?" She smiled sweetly, and then he gave her the deadliest glare he was capable of. God, she was getting on his nerves so much!!

"You will not make this kind of tea. Anymore. Go away."

"That's not how you treat an office worker."

"...go."

"...will not."

Naru sighed and returned to reading one of his books. _Ignore her, ignore her._ Where was he? Page 92.

"Naru, I'm bored. You have a good book to read?"

_What in the world. _

_And since when did she start using 'boku'?_ He mentally noted in the back of his mind.

"...you're fired."

"You can't fire someone for wanting to read a book!"

"Mai, you wouldn't even be capable of reading this, much less understanding it. This time, you crossed the line."

The glare was even deadlier this time around, but she seemed immune to it. Then Mai randomly picked up a book that was stacked on his desk and read out loud. In perfect English. On top of that, she had a British accent (it was kind of sexy too - imagine that!).

"How was that? Didn't know Mai could do that, did you?"

For once in his entire life Naru was speechless. There was a long silence before she began to laugh at the face he made.

"...oh my god," Naru simply wanted to bury his head in his arms, and just wake up from this stupid nightmare. _I should have known that lack of tea-making-skills from somewhere!!_

"You're not going to fire Mai, aren't you?"

"...Yes, no... maybe. Depends," Naru had never been a wishy-washy person, but he all blamed it on his now temporarily broken brains.

"Depends? I tricked her into this."

"...Then I won't fire her," he decided.

"Thanks Noll. At least she won't be angry with me as well," a cute smirk was on Mai's face. "Don't tell her okay?"

"Sure," Naru sighed and got up from his chair. "But, don't do this again. Ever."

"Thanks."

Then Naru received a hug from his possessed part-time worker and stiffened in the sudden embrace.

"Cut it out idiot."

"Can I kiss you too?"

_The hell._

"...no way."

"Why not?"

After a long pause. "That's incest," Naru stated stiffly.

"We're not blood-related at the moment if that bothers you."

"You're still my brother."

"Who cares? Besides, I'm in a woman's body now!" His brother seemed awfully happy about occupying Mai now. For that very reason Naru would have personally killed him if he wasn't already a dead guy. He'd be very sorry if he had indeed been doing unthinkable things, while she hadn't been herself.

"No. No and no!" Especially not in _her_ body.

"You like Mai, don't you?" Her fingertips touched the back of his neck.

_'Don't trick me into it!'_ He mentally cried, while almost shivering.

"Please?! I've always wanted to kiss you."

"Why," Naru said flatly, although he already knew it meant kissing someone who looked like 'himself'.

"I'm _morbidly_ curious, that's why," then there was a sweet smile on her lips. _Too close!!_

"You stupid moro-."

Naru was about to say something about the highly inappropriate word choice, but he got cut off immediately and... sadly even the amount of brain cells he possessed refused to register what happened the next couple of minutes.

(Those minutes were in fact the non-existing black pages in the life of a certain Dr. Davis.)

Then the next thing he knew was Mai sitting on her knees. Her voice was weary and breathless. "That's your punishment, Noll," it was still his brother.

"_Farewell."_

Mai hung her head, and Naru just stared at her.

"Idiot."

After a moment she started to speak again. In Japanese. Finally.

"W-where am I?"

He sighed deeply and went back to his desk. His voice was coarse. "Where do you think?"

"Na-naru. What happened?" Mai couldn't remember anything since the day before, and also felt a strange taste lingering in her mouth. She couldn't make out what it was.

Naru just glared at her, and returned to the book he had been reading. "Take this cup away and make me a new one. It was terrible," he ordered before Mai could ask anymore questions.

"What?"

"Please," he added without even looking at her, and she jolted up to pick up the cup with the lukewarm tea. Mai's eyes went wide. It was the nicest thing he'd ever said to her, since... a long time.

"Okay!"

Before she shut the door, she glanced back to see Naru briefly licking his lips, while writing down something in his investigation reports.


	2. Black is okay

Yes, I decided to make a sequel. Three shots should be sufficient. Much like the first chapter, this story will never happen. Just crack, gag and drama.

**Morbid Curiosity**

_Black is okay._

Time had passed since the black chapter in Naru's short life (of course he believed that he'd live much longer than a certain idiot he could think of), and they'd accepted a rather peculiar case.

The setting was an haunted newly yet-to-be opened major women's clothing store in the Shinjuku district. The three women were all too excited about the case, as they had been promised free clothing pieces if their team solved the mystery. The men were offered free coupons for their respective girlfriends or partners, which they (sadly?) hadn't. However, Naru continued to hammer on the fact that the women shouldn't be slacking off (or sleeping in Mai's case) just because they'd get their freebies if the SPR managed to solve the case. It went smoothly so to say.

Mai thought only Lin was present who was at the very other side of the base room, as the others were busy investigating the basement of the store, and discussed the fashion sense of her friends in her mind.

"I wonder why he wears black clothes," Mai prompted sleepily, her head was buried in her arms on the table.

"What are you talking about?"

Naru was standing behind her, his cold blue eyes looking down on her. Crap, she got caught!

"N-nothing! And I didn't fall asleep, I swear!" She waved her arms around desperately.

"I see," he narrowed his eyes slightly before saying any more. "It should be obvious why I wear black."

"...because you're mourning..?" Mai said quietly.

"No, because I look good in it, Taniyama-san," there was sarcasm in his voice, but the fact was indeed that the 'mourning' had in fact stopped by the time Gene pulled that ridiculous prank on him. She didn't realize that of course.

"But that doesn't make any sense at all!" The girl said all of sudden, ignoring the sarcastic remark.

"..." He continued looking down on her, now with a _'what the hell are you talking about?!'_-face.

"I, I mean," then she got up to whisper in his ear. "Gene wears exactly the same black clothes."

"..." Naru didn't know that. Well, it sort of made sense, and yet...

She continued to whisper. "He can't be mourning for himself, right?" After all, Gene didn't have such a big ego like the person standing in front of her.

"Hmm.." A contrived smirk crossed on his face. Then Naru walked away. Mai raised an eyebrow, and then went back to whatever she was doing. When the case was about to be solved, Naru ordered the SPR team to perform an exorcism and then pull out quickly. They didn't realize their boss had scooted away soon after, until they were done bringing the equipment back to Lin's van.

"Are you sure he's not with the store owner to pick up the freebies?" Matsuzaki asked Yasuhara.

"She said she hadn't seen him at all."

"How strange. Until now Naru always sticked with us until the end, but he sneaked out when the exorcism was about to begin..." Mai wondered where he could be, especially in a women's clothing store!

"Do you suppose he got lost somewhere?" Takigawa snickered.

"Who got lost?" A voice behind him said.

"Ah! Naru-bou, where have you been?"

"Picking up your deserving rewards," Naru smirked and flashed a set of coupons. The girls happily took the coupons. John kindly refused the offer, while Yasuhara gladly accepted his for Takigawa who had goosebumps all over. Lin didn't say anything of course. Needless to say, they quickly forgot about their boss's sudden absence and reappearance.

Then a week later they accepted another case, in an abandoned haunted house with no windows. On the first day Mai already fell asleep, and for once Naru didn't bash her head over it, as he had been doing ever since his highly traumatic experience of the possessed part-time worker.

Mai woke up. Screaming. Everyone was worried, but she refused to tell anyone the details, no matter how much they pushed her to spill it. All she said was 'It didn't have anything to do with the case.'. Naru knew what it was about and didn't say anything to her, he smirked to himself.

Then when they had a moment to themselves, she came up to him.

"Naru, it's about Gene," her eyes were vacant and there was sweat on her face.

"What is it," he said, glancing at her from the side.

"...I believe I told you, that he wore black just like you, last week remember."

"And?"

"When I got 'there', he didn't show up until..." She paused, her eyes began to water. "I guess, he seemed pretty embarrassed about... well, what he is wearing now."

"...you don't mean," he held his fingers to his chin, as if realizing something.

"Naru.." Mai gulped.

Then he got up, and stood in front of her. He comfortably rested his hands on her shoulders. His face was one of the most serious she'd ever seen from him.

"Mai, I hate to break this to you, but..." Then he briefly looked away, as if making sure that nobody was listening in on them. "One of Gene's secret hobbies was in fact..."

He made an overly dramatic pause.

"Cross-dressing."

"No. It can't be," her voice was weak. She shed a tear and looked down. It was drama all over.

Naru went to sit down again, and contently smirked to himself. The girl ignored him altogether from shock. "It can't be, I never imagined.. he almost seemed like the perfect guy," Mai mumbled, lost in her thoughts. A _perfectly dead guy_, Naru thought, the taste of victory was glorious.

"...and he was so pretty looking too," she added.

"Of course he was pretty." '_I chose the clothes!'_

"He must have felt happier if he was a girl."

Naru's memory of a possessed Mai flashed through his mind, and his mood dropped dramatically. '_Yes, I bet he really enjoyed being in your body!'_

"Sure enough. Now get me some tea..." He stopped smirking immediately. "...please."

Mai was too horrified at the revelation to notice the smirks, the various mood and temperature drops... and ran out to pour some tea, for the two of them.

Somewhere in the darkness, a dark-haired young man, donned in an outrageously feminine clothing, viciously watched the exchange that took place. It didn't take long until Naru came in touch with the reflection of his cup of tea that instantly recovered the set of black clothes Gene had worn before. He had been avoiding mirrors since the exorcism of the previous case and other reflective surfaces during the current case so far, which wasn't that hard due to the lack of windows and mirrors. If anything, it was too late for Gene, as he knew that facing Mai would never be the same again and the last of his ego had been shredded to pieces.

However, both twin brothers diligently hoped that Taniyama Mai would never discover what they had managed to trick her.


	3. Black Tea

This is the very last part, Mai gets one last 'torture session' from her boss. It's not funny at all, just a little something to conclude what happened in the previous chapters.

Now, let me go back to writing _Twofold_ (read it, it's not too bad, I hope!).

**Morbid Curiosity**

_Black Tea._

The moment she stepped into the SPR office again she heard an all too familiar voice calling again.

Instead of going straight to the kitchenette like Mai usually did, she went to sit at her desk, dropped her bag next to it and banged her head. There was no hesitation or any doubts in her mind, just utter shock and disgust. Mai had returned straight from the store in Shinjuku where they'd exorcised a spirit or two, and bought herself some trendy clothing from the coupon she had received from the owner. Of course she went into the ladies' changing rooms to try out the outfits, and fell into a sleep of sorts, which turned out to be a post-cognitive dream of Naru dressing up himself in front of the mirror, which resulted into Gene's cross-dressing a week later on.

This proved to be an even more traumatic and maddening experience than when she'd seen Gene. The walk back to the office was suffice to say, difficult, hence being late. There was no question in her mind that Naru would never engage into cross-dressing for his own pleasure. It was simply impossible.

"Mai," Her boss interrupted. He stood in front of the door that led to his office.

She refused to look up to him on his command, her head still on the table. He didn't say a word.

"You... you're the lowest!" She finally spat out and as she glared at him, breaking the uncomfortable silence. It earned one suspicious glint and a raised eyebrow from her other two co-workers who happened to be in the main office. "I saw what you did in that dressing room. Why would you do such a thing to him!"

He briefly closed his eyes and sighed, as if he'd been expecting this. "Would you take this issue to my office. Right now."

"No," Mai firmly said.

"Then," he paused, millions of thoughts processing through his mind before he'd say the following sentence. "Wouldn't you like to know what he did to me?"

Although she had a quite astonished look on her face, Mai remained sitting in her chair, holding onto what she'd stated a few seconds ago. Then he closed the door, after blankly looking at her. It was an odd way of getting his way with the current situation, but it worked; Mai couldn't help but wondering about what exactly Gene did to his other half.

She groaned.

To tell the truth, Naru didn't want it to drag on for too long. He had hoped Mai would never find out, but her post-cognitive powers seemed to have revealed this to her. The young man slightly wondered if it was his brother's doing, but he quickly shrugged it off. The two of them had finally decided they were quits, so Naru couldn't waste his precious time anymore and went back to whatever he was doing at his desk. Just a small dispute of two brothers over a single girl.

Ten minutes passed. He instinctively grabbed for his cup of tea, only to realize it was empty, and that Mai never went to make him another cup. Speaking of her, she had a awful lot of self control. Did he underestimate her? No, he couldn't have.

"Mai, tea!"

He heard another almost inaudible groan coming from the outside, and then some footsteps. She was just way too curious. Naru smirked to himself. This was too easy. She returned with a tray and a cup of tea.

"I want to know," traces of anger were in her voice. She placed the cup on the desk.

_Just as planned._

"Gene's tea is of very questionable quality," Naru stated, and her jaw hit the rock bottom. He took the cup and sipped. It was excellent. "No, let me rephrase that; Gene produced me something that barely resembles the tea I want."

"Uh okay, but what does that have to do with-"

"That idiot had promised me to never give me it again," he cut her off.

"That just means you're being way too anal about your tea! I don't understand you and your obsession for good tea," she exclaimed. "And poor Gene!"

There she goes again, probably thinking it wasn't right to do such a thing to a dead person! Poor Gene this, poor Gene that! It made him wonder very often why she always managed to care for the others so much, except for himself. Somehow she always turned against him. Did he really treat her that poorly? He'd paid her salary faithfully and on top of that, getting her out of various troubles during the cases. What kind of expectations did she have of him?

"It's like when you constantly crunched me out during that poltergeist case! Only because of my supposedly horrible tea," she continued, while making fists.

"That's because, like Gene, you never try and drink it yourself," '_So sentimental'_, he thought, and sipped from his tea again. "Then you whined to him about it, and then he possessed you. Correct?"

An angered face was replaced for a confused one in an instant.

"Ha?"

"If your memory doesn't fail you as usual, you should have remembered that 'blank' right after that." Naru continued.

"Of course I do, that's what I've been bugging you a-" Then Mai abruptly stopped in the middle in her sentence. It couldn't be, she thought, did Naru imply that Gene possessed her during that time? "So he, I-, bu-but I didn't remember anything for hours-!!"

"Yes, he did possess you for over twelve hours I estimate."

Her jaw dropped and her mind started spinning. "Ah."

"Just think about what a normal young man would do in a girl's body." As far a dead medium can be called normal, but that's beside the point. '_Don't worry Mai, I personally took care of him too, as you know!'_ Naru smirked on the inside. '_Poor Gene?'_ He almost wanted to say out loud. '_Served him right!'_

Mai turned several shades of white at that statement, until she got as pale as he was. Naru sipped his tea.

"No way.."

"Unfortunately I don't know about whatever he had been doing before he entered the office and made me 'tea'," he said the last word as if it was something despicable.

"So, so he did that to punish you for the things you said to me?" Mai wondered out loud. No matter how much that made sense, she still didn't believe him. What a petty argument!

Naru looked to the side for the moment and she caught it.

"Naru," she impatiently said. It wasn't like him to be hesitant. He had to be hiding something from her!

"Yes," he answered. To some extent.

"That still doesn't explain that unrecognizable taste in my mouth after that memory blank," the girl insisted, and caught him trembling the cup for a moment. "And you just said Gene never drinks his own tea, so..."

"Well, what do you think?" Naru interrupted, before sighing deeply. Then he got up from his chair as he took the last sip of the black tea.

When Mai didn't reply, as she was too busy about thinking of what possibly happened next (_'but that's incest!'_, _'no, that's kind of hot!'_ or _'wait, my first kiss!', ..._), he took the advantage.

"Let me make this up to you then, because I did mean you had a good taste back then," Naru said, remembering when they'd first met. He chuckled a little, in a dangerous manner, as he walked up to her. "I'm very glad your third sense does function, then let me give you a demonstration," The fear-inducing smirk on his face made her take some cautious steps backwards until she ended up with her back against the door with him just inches in front of her.

"So use it properly," he said after he retrieved the key of his private office from his pocket, and locked the door.

* * *

**Omake:**

Yasuhara and Lin counted exactly twenty-three minutes had passed on their stopwatches since a scowling Mai entered Naru's office and her return to the kitchenette. She quickly poured her two co-workers their cups of tea, only to go back straight to her boss's office again with her tray, all before they could ask any questions about the color her face was making.


End file.
